#walton has such huge hands

[new-world-mutation]

More of Fallout crew at SWSX 2024.

[its-in-the-woods]

Down the Rabbit Hole Chapter 5

Chapter one here, two here, three here, four here

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You

Rating/Warning:  As always minor get out.  Little angst, lots of fluff, handholding,kissing

Slow build like novel damn length okay, Very Fluffy, Pinch of Angst, Relationship Development, Hurt/Comfort, Older man/ Younger(30s) women, Alternative universe, fictional work (IDK WHY BUT I AM PUTTING IT) Probably more as I go.

Synopsis: Working in film as a make-up artist is hard enough, but then Walton Goggins requests you, well it's way too easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Note: they are both single, all for fun.

I think I may have an ending now. Posts will continue to be 2-3k long. Every other day more than likely.

*As always thank you so much for the love. I have another AU brewing, as well as some fallout stuff. So please be sure to stick around to see what's next. *

***

Three weeks go by quickly. Time always flies when you are busy. Liz has gone back to her usual snot-nose self. Basically avoiding you at all costs unless you have to swap information. Katie had also taken the same stance on things. She was much more curt and would regularly give you side eyes. It hurt. You'd always like Katie, she may not have been a friend but the cold shoulder was rough. You'd also been traveling a lot more. The nice thing was Trevor and you would share rides. If you were slated to travel south of town you'd pick him up. North and he'd pick you up. Most mornings you'd try to snooze a little on the drive. He never pushed things, not that there was anything to push. But it was still nice not to have questions about your lackluster love life. Instead, you would just talk about him and Decon. They were getting on famously and had talked about potentially moving in together. 

As for Walton, he was his usual goofy self, but there was something off. He doesn't touch you as much. No hand on your elbow, or quick cheek kisses as he leaves the trailer. He wouldn't drag his chair over to make sure he sat beside you so that he could show you something funny he found on Instagram. Instead of sitting himself a little further from everyone, he seemed to have distanced himself from most of the crew. You didn't realize how much you noticed all the little things until they were gone. You've taken to eating lunch in the makeup and hair trailer. Trevor has been hanging with Decon and the rest of the props department. As much as you enjoy the company you can't help but feel like a third wheel. So eating alone while reading a book is just easier. Plus the book took your mind off the fact that you felt a heart-sick. Even though nothing had transpired, you had been more hopeful than you had realized. 

So instead you‘re busing yourself, already lining up another show for when this one is finished, which is a huge relief. Having a show slated ahead of time can be daunting and it depends on who you vibe with more than your talent. Thankfully your name has gotten out there, untarnished by Liz and you've clicked with a few heads of departments who are happy to have you. Your year is full, you even let yourself look over apartment listings. A good half of them are way out of your price range. The other half is several cities away, and with how expensive gas is, the lower rent wouldn't matter.

You let out a sigh checking your watch. Another fifteen minutes before the trailer would be swamped with people. You briefly wonder if you could get a nap in. The last week of night shoots had worn you out. A knock on the door pushes that thought away. 

“Come on in.” You call out expecting an AD or maybe Costumes to come in.

The door opens and Walton comes in, hat and sunglasses blocking out the unusually sunny day. You felt slightly annoyed that you'd have to redo his face, and Trevor would have to unflatten his hair. Your heart speeding up pushed that out of your mind. 

“Hey, Walton.” You say, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the butterflies in your stomach along with your elevated heart rate.

“Hey, gorgeous,” He says with that wicked grin as he settles in the chair across from you. The nickname makes you straighten yourself up.

“You're a bit early. But I don't mind,” You say, reminding yourself that you need to keep your distance if you are going to make it the next few months. 

“I am actually here to ask you a question.” His hands adjust his clothing. You wonder for a moment if he is as nervous as you are. The morning from nearly a month ago playing out, the thought of him full of jittery energy as you sat with him. 

“Oh?” You ask, taking a sip from your water bottle to hide your smile.

“Would you like to come out for dinner with me?” 

You worry at your lip for a moment. The man had barely spoken to you for almost a month and now was suddenly asking you out. It really didn’t make much sense. 

“Sure, who else is going?” You ask, having convinced yourself that he must have arranged a get-together like the weekend previously. There was not a snowflake in hell chance he was asking you on a date.

He looks down at his hands fiddling with his watch and taking off his shades to look at you. “Was kind of hoping it would be just the two of us,” 

Now your face is flushed, was this happening? “Oh- umm- like a date?”

Walton's cheeks turn pink and he rubs the back of his neck. Damn, you'd missed how bashful he'd get about you. “Yeah, a date. There's a sushi place close to me that I've been wanting to go to.”

“I would love that,” the words fall out of your mouth before you even have time to think. He grinned, his whole face lighting up, making the monetary lack of judgment worth it.

“Could I pick you up at your place around seven?”

You have a smile breaking across your face. “Now here I was worried about giving some ‘random man’ my address.”

His hundred-watt smile lights you up and you are half tempted to go kiss the dang fool. “I promise to only drive by a few times.”

The door opens and Trevor is coming in. You swore the man had both the best and worst timing. 

“Hey, you.” His face changes as he sees Walton. If thought bubbles were real you were certain ‘oh shit’ would have hung over his head. “I seem to have excellent timing interrupting you both.”

“No, you're good,” Walton waves his hand at him, a small smirk still pulling at his lips. “Was just ready to get myself looking good for the next scene.”

***

Trevor has been trying unsuccessfully to get you to spill the beans. But you refuse to tell him anywhere near where people could overhear you both. You'd rather avoid any more scoldings from Liz. The last thing you wanted was for her to get even more pissed off than she already was.

The day is finally done, and you're anxious to get home and change. Trevor follows you to the parking lot chattering about his plans with Decon. You can tell it's taking everything in him not to pester you for more details. 

“So are you going to tell me? Or do I need to follow you home?” He finally gives in. Part of you doesn't want to tell him, the rumor mill could feed itself. But this was Trevor, someone who you actually liked as a friend. He wasn't going to spill the beans on you.

You sigh, unlocking your car and dropping your purse into the front seat “I am just going out for dinner.”

Trevor's face lights up, and he all but screeches, “Really!?” 

You tap his shoulder and he immediately calms down. Looking around you are relieved no one seems to have heard his excited chatter.

“Really, you're actually going out on a date with Walton?” The man is so excited he is vibrating. He may be more excited than you are.

You do your best not to laugh at him “Yes, we are, the first date. It's nothing serious, just going to eat sushi.”

Trevor's eyebrows narrowed, confusion gracing his face.“Wait. It’s your first date?”

You turn back to eyebrows scrunched, “Yeah. He's barely spoken to me until today.”

Trevor looks surprised, “Wait. Hold on. I thought you two had just taken things” He makes indistinguishable hand motions. “Outside office hours.”

“What? No. He's practically avoided me since I broke down a month ago.” You are shocked that he hadn't asked about this before. 

“Holy hell. It took him that long to get it together.” 

You groan looking at your watch. “Stop it. I have to get going. Please don't tell anyone.”

Trevor made the zipper motion over his lips. “But you better text me when you get home. I want all the details.”

You roll your eyes but nod as you finally get in the car. Knowing full well you'd have a novel worth of text to read by the end of the evening.

***

Once home you jump in the shower. Braiding your hair like Trevor had taught you, two braids on either side meeting in the middle and down the back. Mascara, eyeliner, and some tinted moisturizer go on. It’s quick and simple but does the job. Once you are mostly dry you move over to your stand-up wardrobe. You curse at the fact that eighty percent of your clothes are either black or stained.  Throwing caution to the wind you find a pair of black denim jeans and loose loose-fitting purple top. It's not like you're walking the red carpet. You wanted cute but functional. Digging around you're surprised when you find a pair of non-scuffed boots. They fit relatively well and shouldn’t give you blisters if you end up going for a walk.

A black handbag is filled with bits and bobs. Lip Chap, hair elastic, wallet, phone, a charging cable, a small container with Tylenol, mints, and ginger tablets. You also grab a black leather jacket that's light enough to carry but warm enough to protect you from the evening winds.  Years of running on fumes have taught you how to move quickly and travel lightly. Most of the time problems could be solved with what was on hand.

A few deep breaths and affirmative thoughts and you feel significantly better. It was going to be a good evening you repeated to yourself. Phone buzzing, you grab it out of your bag.

“Just downstairs.”

You quickly reply that you're ‘Coming downstairs’ 

Grabbing your keys you lock up and head out. Trying to calm your mind as you rush down the stairs. It was just a dinner date, sushi, and some chatting. Just because you haven't been on a date for almost six years doesn't mean you need to be full of anxiety. 

Being single and working in film meant you either dated folks who also worked in film or you didn't date. Unfortunately, you didn't have a bisexual bone in your body. Not to mention that most men that seemed interested were, well, slimy. So you had given up the ghost and thrown yourself at work. Now here you were walking down the hallway to get picked up by a man. Not just any man either, Walton Goggins, a man that could pull anyone and he had certainly pulled you. It felt a little surreal and frightening.

You stop at the door and try to still your mind. Then you push through and he is parked right outside. Leaning against his vehicle like he doesn't have care in the world. He's wearing a loose-fitting navy shirt, several buttons undone at the collar, with black pants, sunglasses, and a hat. Walton’s face breaks into a crooked grin when he sees you, his body unfurling as you come closer. You'd be lying if you didn't want to find out what was under that shirt.

“Well, aren't you looking good?” He says licking his lips and watching you come towards the vehicle.

You blush as you meet his shade covered eyes. “Not too bad yourself.”

He chuckles, and opens the door, “After you, m’lady” 

The drive is relatively short, being later in the evening meant that most traffic was gone. You both chat about the week, minor set annoyances, and future plans. Walton’s hand never leaves yours, his eyes occasionally glancing over at you. If he had asked you to just drive around you would have agreed. Walton parks the car in the parkade, and the two of you get out. He laces his fingers in yours as you walk down the sidewalk. 

The sushi place is tucked back off the main street in an old historical building. The sign is worn and the door hasn’t been painted in years. It was going to be good food. The server places you both in a booth in the back corner of a relatively empty space. The lights are dim and it feels cozy. You two sit beside each other and look over the menu. 

“Have you ever had Takoyak?” He asks, pointing at some deep-fried balls on the menu.  

“No, I haven’t. They are squid right?” You ask.

“Yes, they are delicious. I would recommend them, oh and okonomiyaki.” The fact that he can pronounce half of the words is impressive. 

“Do you want to share a few things?” 

“I think that is a marvelous idea.” 

The two of you order a table full of various goodies and some Saki. You share them and talk about the different foods you’ve tried. You remember vaguely the discussion you had a month ago, and he fills in on some of the more foggy details. You have no idea how long the two of you had sat there, most of the food has disappeared and you’ve found yourself thigh to thigh with the man. You lean back and hum, feeling slightly overstuffed and most definitely sleepy. 

“You worn out?” He says, his hand tracing patterns on your knee.

“Mmm, a little bit,” You lean your head against his shoulder, he’s warm and you can’t help how comfortable you feel. 

“Why don’t we get out of here?” He says quietly kissing the top of your head.

You nodded in agreement, really you’d go anywhere he’d want to go.

Outside the cool night has settled in, and you shiver slightly, tucking yourself into your jacket. Walton grabs your hand and leads you down the way. Around the corner, there is a little path that leads down to the ocean. Once there you both stumble down the sand until you find some driftwood to sit on. Looking back toward the lights of downtown. 

“The city is so beautiful at night,” He says, hands still holding yours.”All the lights reflect off the mountains and the seas. Looks like a painting.”

You wiggle yourself down the piece of wood so you’re resting against him, Watching his eyes sparkle as he looks at the light. Walton turns to you, watching your face, eyes going down to your lips before back up to your eyes. 

You take the hint and lean into him, finally, kissing him. It feels like it’s taken so long to get here, your heart is racing and you can’t help but let yourself linger. He pushes back against you, hand coming up to hold your face. It’s over so fast. He pulls back, and you just look at him. Sharp jawline covered in stubble, slanted nose, kiss redden lips, eyes watching you. 

“I want to kiss you again,” He says breathlessly, so you lean in scooting and push up against him, legs slotting between each other. You can taste the sushi and saki. If this damn man pulls away again you are going to lose your mind. But he does, you’re both breathless like two teenagers. 

“It’s been a lovely night,’ He hushes his thumbs brushing over your cheeks. “I wish I could stay out here with you all night.”

You smile at him snuggling closer. The two of you wrapped around each other watching the night sky. Large freight ships move in and out of the harbor, cars drive past, and other couples wander by. It’s peaceful in its own way, just the two of you holding hands and stealing kisses. You want to ask him to go back to his place. Wanting to make the first move, but you hold off.  Taking things slow, and steady. It was after all your first date. 

***

Chapter six

**As always thank you all so much for the love. If you'd like to be tagged for future chapters let me know! Comments, like, reblog fill the void of my writer's cold dead soul. **

[unrclypirxte]

Some random Beth hcs:

She loves the rain! She loves to sit under some shelter, in a chair or on the floor, and watch the rain fall. Especially when she's got a cigarette on the go and a beer in hand.

Mark, the camp cook, specifically keeps meals aside for Beth and practically forces her to sit down and eat. Both at the request of Vaas and because he wants to.

50/50 as to whether she joins in with the parties. Usually, if she's sat off to the side sharpening her knife or tinkering away with a radio or carbs or something, some pirates will waltz over and physically drag her to join everyone.

I've said it once, I'll say it again: she has a wall in her shack of just stacks of dvds and VHS tapes. She's a huge movie buff.

Has a cork board in her shack that has documents, to-do lists, reminders, etc. over her work desk. However, it's also littered with photos of her and Vaas (usually his arm around her shoulders and the pair sporting hearty grins), her and Carlos, and her and pirates. There's one consistently buried of her and Hoyt, his arm around her waist.

She's a hopeless romantic!! She watched lots of telly as a kid and got the idea of romance from shit like Little House On The Prairie and The Waltons.

Has stuffed animals she hides expertly in her shack, only brought out of hiding on those seemingly rare nights she actually sleeps, let alone at her own place.

She bathes daily, if she can. She gets products imported, and is known to smell like lavender.

Beth is sometimes put in charge of inducing new pirates. 9/10 she puts them in their place by ripping into the most vocal one (physically and verbally, and the most vocal in regards to her gender and role).

She'd die for Whiskey, but he spends a lot of time in the main camp and the pirates look after him. He's considered a household name, and nobody messes with him.

Has major depressive episodes, noticeable mainly in how she talks. She tends to lack aggression, enthusiasm, or force. She also noticeably goes from "Beth workload" to "normal workload".

[lakegenevaslumberparty]

The middle of The One Official Ice Storm of Texas Winter is an amazing time to be heading to the North Pole with Captain Walton. genuinely tickled by the timing here.

To Mrs. Saville, England. Farewell, my dear, excellent Margaret. Your affectionate brother, R. Walton

As cleverer souls than me have pointed out, Margaret Walton Saville has the initials MWS--the same as Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley. Captain Walton passes the story on to MWS, and she passes it on to us. We are just one of a chain of readers getting this nesting narrative; and if we tell it to someone else , and arguably even if we just discuss it like this, we become part of its structure. Neat!

There—for with your leave, my sister, I will put some trust in preceding navigators—there snow and frost are banished; and, sailing over a calm sea

doubt.jpg (but I do find the speculation fascinating!)

 My education was neglected, yet I was passionately fond of reading.

Fascinated by this whole " I was educated by reading in the library" thread-- obviously it means someone's not been guided in their thinking by the establishment, and that seems like it should be a Good Thing for a Romantic novel, but it also speaks to a certain level of parental/societal neglect, and especially isolation from peers, and Spoilers and all but that is Not Great here

These visions faded when I perused, for the first time, those poets whose effusions entranced my soul and lifted it to heaven. I also became a poet and for one year lived in a paradise of my own creation; I imagined that I also might obtain a niche in the temple where the names of Homer and Shakespeare are consecrated. You are well acquainted with my failure and how heavily I bore the disappointment

gskdghdsklh ONE YEAR, he tried writing for ONE YEAR and didn't instantly become Homer so that's it!!!

On the one hand I get it, but also. My dude my guy. One Year.

But just at that time I inherited the fortune of my cousin, and my thoughts were turned into the channel of their earlier bent.

I wish everyone disappointed in the arts to come into a huge convenient fortune , possibly via the death of Captain Walton's cousin

Six years have passed since I resolved on my present undertaking. I can, even now, remember the hour from which I dedicated myself to this great enterprise. I commenced by inuring my body to hardship. I accompanied the whale-fishers on several expeditions to the North Sea; I voluntarily endured cold, famine, thirst, and want of sleep...

I feel like our Captain was way more intent on one of these Life Goals than the other.

Not much to say at this point-- I am truly moved by Walton's description of Hypothetical Landscapes, and I'm sure we're all looking forward to reading about his totally calm and successful voyage!

[sportingdynamo]

Sporting Dynamite: The team making an impact

Goals at one end, fighting at the other. Sporting Dynamo play some of the best Sunday league football in Leicestershire. It’s their no-nonsense attitude however, that has put them in the nations spotlight. Yellow on their skin but red in their blood, Stephen Graham lives in this small town but it’s Dynamo showing why This is England. 

The 2023/24 Sporting Dynamo team in the new away kit.

Asked to describe the team, Club Secretary Harry Taylor said: “It’s took a long time to get to where we’re at now, but these lads play 2024 football with a 2000’s attitude, if you know what I mean. The beautiful game needs monsters and we provide exactly that.” 

Last season saw Dynamo bring home silverware to the town of Ibstock, Leicestershire, for the first time since 2014. Even more surprisingly, they manged it on two occasions.  

Leading up to April, they found themselves top of the league and a semi-final away from reaching the Arthur Moore Cup Final, in their way, Oadby Owls. 2-2 in normal time saw the cagey affair go to extra time. Oadby hit the woodwork twice before winger Giorgio Stylianou wrapped it into the top right corner sealing Dynamo's date with destiny.

The 28th of April would prove to be a day in the history books as a dominant 3-0 display, crowned them Arthur Moore Cup champions against a hardworking CFA (Community Football Academy) team.

A scent of a second piece of silverware in the Billy Walton cup spread like a virus on the fifth of May and as the sun set, Dynamo battled hard against Sileby Athletic. 1-1 at halftime meant everything was to play for but despite the yellow flares that engulfed the pitch, defender George Ludlam only saw one colour. Red. Shortly after Sileby grabbed a second, all but securing the cup. Dynamo defeated; despair drowned out the short-lived victory of the previous week, but all was not done. 

Cup sorrows had to be paused as just 2 days after, Dynamo needed to defeat rivals Braunstone Athletic if they were to keep their league dreams alive. 89 minutes on the clock. 0-0. Up stepped Richard Lewis with a buzzer beater. Coolest man on the pitch. Keepers head in hands. Absolute chaos. One game to go. 

A final day, nitty-gritty 0-0 meant Dynamo double dreamland, on goal difference, against all the odds.

“Since I came here in 2018, we've not had a team with this kind of ability so to have done it on the last day, after the trouble we had in the Sunday Cup, I think we deserve it” added Taylor.  

A point deduction was given to Dynamo after tempers flared between the two sets of fans in the FA Sunday Cup against Nottingham based Poets Young Boys FC. They fell to a 4-2 loss, but this wouldn't be the last time they'd come across cup drama. 

The 23/24 has brought new challenges as the team aim to add to last season's silverware. 

“I could not be prouder of them for what they did last season, and neither could those who support them from the sidelines. This season's achievements again show the huge strides we’ve made as a collective.” Taylor said, when talking about how far the club has come, and he's not wrong.

The Dyna have gone unbeaten this season in the league and are well on their way to win The Alliance Football League once more. 

Striker Kyle Jardine has been the shining light in his team this season and is no fool when it comes to providing in front of goal. 18 goals and 7 assists show why he's the truth. Jardine is garden in French, so it is no surprise seeing him move like the Boogey-man on oppositions home turfs.

Discussing his contribution to the team, Jardine said, “The numbers speak for themselves, 18 goals this season and over 40 for my Saturday team, it's no fluke, but that's my job and if we’re winning, I can see myself staying here for a long time.” 

Jardine in action for his Saturday team, Heather St. Johns.

At 21 years old, the talent has played a crucial role and is far from done, most recently scoring in his Dynamo’s run in the FA Sunday Cup. In the round of 32 they came up against Royston Rovers FC and for the first time, their on-pitch antics would be made available to the whole world.

Tackles even Vinnie Jones would look away from. The monsters had arrived. A spill from a free kick saw Dynamo draw first blood as Jardine made no mistake converting.  

Midfielder Jimmy Chandler entered the pitch in the second half, suspectedly biting an opposition player, turning the wrestling match into a hell in the cell. Dynamo struck once more, and it was none other than Chandler himself who sealed their fate.

An online video of the game went viral and displays the definition of a rough and tumble encounter, highlighting exactly why the nation lives for the rawness of Sunday league football. 

The Following round saw Dynamo fall to a 4-1 defeat against eventual finalists Trooper FC, but spirits were high post match and showed just why they named themselves the best supported team in Sunday league. 

There are somethings money simply can’t buy, and that’s heart. This SD is one even Mike Ashley couldn’t own. At the centre of their community, they’re no strangers to getting fans involved.

Sporting Dynamo organise a yearly, fan-favourite, bike-ride-pub-crawl for the team and supporters with money going to charity. Additionally, they have an annual golf and darts tournament at the local pub that welcomes all to get involved and it seems to have paid off with more locals coming to support.

Dynamo attendance post Covid-19.

“I think that's what sets us apart from many other teams, our support, and I'm sure the lads and Harry would agree. They play a big part in our success, so our victories are as much theirs as ours,” Jardine said, when talking about what makes Sporting Dynamo unique. 

A push in attendance has also made more money available for the club, helping to refurbish the café and purchase an away kit.

Most recently Dynamo have landed in hot water once more following their semi-final in the Arthur Moore cup which was abandoned following a mass brawl between both fans and players. They now face potential expulsion from both the cup and league. 

Taylor said, “We’ll see what our options are in the coming weeks, I hope we carry on, we provide a lot of joy for the fans”

The future for the club is unknown for now. Unfortunately, the football they play is not a problem, but their aggressive nature could prove them to be masters of their own downfall. 

By Ollie Harvan.

[thecrimecrypt]

Crimes That Shook Britain (South East England)

Murder of Lin and Megan Russell On 9 July 1996, Lin Russell, 45, was walking home from school in Chillenden, Kent, with her two young daughters, Josie, 9, and Megan, 6. 

On a country lane, drug addict Michael Stone suddenly attacked, demanding money. The three victims were tied up, blindfolded, then savagely beaten with a hammer.  Josie was the sole survivor, despite suffering catastrophic head injuries. And, as she recovered, the brave little girl helped officers create an e-fit of the attacker. 

A year later, psychopath Stone, 37, was charged. A cellmate testified Stone confessed while on remand in Canterbury Prison.  Michael Stone was convicted and jailed for life for the murders of Lin and Megan. 

Josie and her father Shaun moved to Wales to rebuild their lives. Stone continues to protest his innocence from prison and has pointed blame at killer Levi Bellfield, who he says resembles the e-fit picture. 

Daniel Gonzalez Daniel Gonzalez, from Woking, had fantasies of being horror-film slasher Freddy Krueger and wanted to be a ‘famous serial killer’.  On 15 September 2004, wearing a hockey mask, Gonzalez stabbed Marie Harding, 73, to death on a Worthing footpath. Two days later, he killed Kevin Molloy, 46, in north London, then Derek and Jean Robinson, 75, and 68, in their home.  Two other men, aged 61 and 59, survived attacks. 

Gonzalez was arrested at a tube station on 17 September after buying a ticket with a bloodstained £20 note.  Daniel Gonzalez, 26, was jailed for life and took his own life in Broadmoor psychiatric hospital in August 2007. 

Killing of Billie-Jo Jenkins  Billie-Jo Jenkins, 13, was killed by a blow to her head at her home in Hastings, on 15 February 1997.  Billie-Jo had been placed in foster care with Sion and Lois Jenkins when she was 9, and foster father Sion said he’d got home that day to find Billie-Jo in a pool of blood. 

Sion soon became prime suspect - forensics found microscopic spots of blood on his clothes and, in July 1998, he was convicted of murder.  But experts said blood on his clothing could’ve come from Billie-Jo’s airway as she lay dying.  After two appeals, Sion’s conviction was quashed. After two re-trials failed to reach a verdict, he was acquitted in 2006. The case is still unsolved. 

Levi Bellfield  Levi Bellfield hated all women. The 6ft 1in, 20st wheel clamper stalked and attacked them after they got off night buses.  In February 2003, Bellfield bludgeoned student Marsha McDonnell, 19, with a hammer in Hampton, southwest London. 

In May 2004, he drove into Kate Sheedy, 18, before reversing over her. Amazingly, she survived.  Bellfield beat French student Amelie Delagrange, 22, to death in August 2004 on Twickenham Green. He was arrested when his van was caught on CCTV near the scene. 

Bellfield was sentenced to a whole-life term for killing Marsha and Amelie. Afterwards, police linked Bellfield to the unsolved murder of schoolgirl Milly Dowler, 13, who’d vanished while walking home in Walton-on-Thames in March 2002.  Her remains were found six months later.

Despite being convicted of Milly’s murder in 2011 and handed another whole-life term, Bellfield refused to admit his guilt.  But, 14 years on, he admitted abducting, raping and strangling the schoolgirl. 

Hungerford Massacre A sunny August afternoon in 1987 in Hungerford, Berkshire - and loner Michael Ryan, 27, armed with two semi-automatic rifles and a pistol, went on a rampage.  Ryan shot dead a mother picnicking with her kids in Savernake Forest and, by 1pm, he was shooting people at random in the town center. 

By the day’s end, 16 people were dead, including Ryan’s mother and a police officer.  A further 15 were injured.

Armed police swarmed the area, and, after evading capture all afternoon, Ryan shot and killed himself. 

Murder of Sarah Payne Sarah Payne, 8, vanished while playing with her siblings near her grandparents’ home in Kingston Gorse, West Sussex on 1 July 2000. 

A huge police hunt was launched and, on 17 July, Sarah’s body was found beside a field, 15 miles from where she’d disappeared. Roy Whiting, a local paedophile and convicted sex offender, was the prime suspect.  A strand of hair matching Sarah’s DNA was found on a T-shirt in Whiting’s white van and fibers  from the van were also on Sarah’s shoe. 

Whiting was jailed for life. Sarah’s mother Sara successfully campaigned for Sarah’s Law - which allows anyone to formally ask the police if someone with access to a child has a record for child sexual offenses. 

[musicblogwales]

Emotive Newcomer's 'Marionette' Debut New 'Your Hand' Single

New Cardiff Band 'Marionette' have today released their brand new debut single 'Your Hand' which will be released on all streaming platforms. 'Marionette made their well recieved debut on the Adam Walton BBC Introducing in Wales show on BBC Radio Wales recently, which was deemed an '...a powerful and impressive debut!' by Adam Walton.

Hailing from the heart of South Wales, Marionette is an indie alternative rock band that weaves together the sharp, melodic sensibilities of The Strokes, the eclectic flair of Mini Mansions, and the Britpop cool of Blur. Originally founded as a covers band by two childhood friends, Marionette has evolved into a powerful four-piece, crafting original music that resonates with the energy and authenticity of the modern rock scene.

The band's story began in the close quarters of a university house, where the two founding members spent countless nights writing songs, experimenting with sounds, and dreaming of a bigger stage. Their deep-rooted friendship and shared passion for music laid the groundwork for what would eventually become Marionette. As their songwriting skills sharpened and their creative vision became clearer, they knew it was time to take their music beyond the confines of their living room.

With the addition of two new members who brought fresh influences and dynamic energy, Marionette transformed into a full-fledged band ready to take on the local music scene. They quickly made a name for themselves in South Wales, performing at local venues where their original music captivated audiences with its blend of jangly guitar riffs, punchy rhythms, and introspective lyrics. Each performance reinforced their belief that they were onto something special—creating a sound that is both nostalgic and refreshingly original, echoing the best of the past while firmly looking toward the future.

With a growing reputation across South Wales and beyond, Marionette is poised to make their mark on the UK music scene, offering a fresh take on the alternative rock genre that is as infectious as it is authentic.

Marionette said this about the track....... Our new release is called Your Hand and it’ll be our first release. The lyrics were written about the walk home from a first date, initially feeling anxious about how everything went but then throughout the song feeling more and more excited about the future with this person. The main guitar part was written first, channeling a massive grungy sound. To balance this the second guitar plays a more jangly Smiths-esque line in the verses. This all comes together with driving bass and huge drums, and of course the drum solos to leave some room for dancing after the choruses. The song has been a favourite both in the band and for the audiences we’ve played to, so we knew we wanted this to be our first single. We recorded it over two days in the summer at Hot Jam in Bridgend, with the help of William’s brother Alex and the ever loving and patient Colm Foxon - the engineer and owner of the studio. The track was mixed and mastered by the great Charlie Francis who we owe the tight and punchy sound to.

 Discover

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/marionette__band Facebook https://www.facebook.com/marionetteband

X https://www.x.com/Marionetteband1

[the-firebird69]

You gave him a veiled threat you plan to try and kidnap him by doing all that s*** but you can see everybody around you now and you said you saw it you going to keep doing this public stupid s*** and he says yeah it's part of his motif to degrade society and what I say is our friend's right you retards her out you spend all your time doing this dumb s*** and nobody cares for it and they're getting rid of you pretty soon there won't be any of you and that's what you've done that's pretty much all you've done except you've had the big fellows here after us and yourselves I don't know about you but that was embarrassing you're a stubborn piece of nothing you got your hat handed to you he told me to f*** off. You flipped him off and the manager is watching you on the camera and he's just out of the cameras view so you can get fired you should get fired and all your formats there's too many clones there he recognizes the threat says you're after his wife so he's going to take your ships all of them and I believe him he has power there's no reason why he shouldn't I don't want him to but you're sitting there enticing him every day every few minutes you f****** losers are on the f****** horn making sure he's mad you're out of your f****** minds you're so stupid you drive by as a cop everybody's yelling at you even he's looking at you to have you pulled over that's what we're going to do we're going after you right now. You're so dumb. You started s*** with him okay it's on tape he said I can't move this thing and he's got a hernia because of you and you're just yelling at him screaming at his face and you've done it before when he's trying to get ready to leave and they're looking at that stuff well you said after us I don't give a s*** if I'm right or wrong I founded this place with Sam Walton and every single one of you will be fired if you don't side with me because management still has some people in it it's practically my store no but really you guys are dependent on this place this is this actual institution is your only last bastion and these clones are moving in and these two idiots these trumpsters are horrible too so they looked and they found out it's true they've been beating them up and doing better I'll tell you what though this guy's incensed and he was going to beat that guy to death and it's Tommy f and he's sitting there scammering saying I have two choices which is great he looks weak so people are going after his people they have these huge chips and these weakling engineer builders so they built a lot of the city stuff too I have to tell you I've never seen people so angry at one a****** in my life and he's sitting there inciting him on the inside he's complaining to someone and it's really Tommy F who's bothering him he's standing right there trying to stop him from saying it he said it doesn't work with me have you noticed yeah he's doing it on purpose too except you're losing ring ding ring f****** ding-a-ling yeah people know about it now s*** head so he's almost crying besides to go out and bother him again outside so this is got to be toddler s*** and that's how you're winning the whole thing is probably not true. But he still continuing to do it so we're going after him cuz he's a loser okay his clothes don't like him either they're trying to shut him down in this consortium of idiot is here and it sees retired higher ups who want the AI and they should know that bja is at it 24 hours a day this particular move on the 1st of July Tommy F will be severely weakened and nobody will be positioned in Australia just drop him that's how they end up in the museum so people are moving cuz it's true

Mac

[watasemasaru]

i forgor @abliafina-18782 had also tagged me!

Ten MORE films I love!

Suspect X (2008 dir. Hiroshi Nishitani) Their have been several films and dramas made of Keigo Higashino's book; The Devotion of Suspect X, but this film is by far the best and most faithful to the book. Shinichi Tsutsumi is so compelling in his role and Masaharu Fukuyama just is Galileo to me. Whenever I re-read them, his face is who I picture. Highly recommend this film AND reading the novel.

Masquerade Hotel (2019 dir. Masayuki Suzuki) Another film adaptation of Keigo Higashino's novel of the same name. It's FUN! And our favorite ojisan, the uncle dad himself, Takuya Kimura is the lead! Shingo Tsurumi also has a small part, and y'all know he's my baby.

L Change the World (2008 dir. Hideo Nakata) Most anime turned love action usually end up corny, but the one thing that Death Note hands off it that aside from the shinigami/notebooks, it's rooted in a realistic setting. I also think this one does well because it was a novel and had no anime to be compared to. It's a heartbreaking watch and stands on its own as one of L's cases. Matsuken much like Masaharu is Galileo, is L to me. No one could ever be L but him. AND ANOTHER TSURUMI MOMENT AYEEE.

Spiral/らせん/Rasen (1998 dir. George Iida) I do not careeeee that everyone hated this movie souch they made another one! This one is my favorite. It's entirely faithful to the book and you know what? Shingo Tsurumi in really nice sweaters. It's my absolute favorite of the series.

Dogma (1999 dir. Kevin Smith) As much as this is a comedy, it's a great guide on how to approach things like faith. One of my all time favorites and the cast is soooo good. Kevin Smith is a huge weenie but this is a stellar film.

Tin Cup (1996 dir. Ron Shelton) One thing about me, is I LOVE sports comedies. Kevin Costner is known for his serious roles but he's funny as fuck and you put him alongside Cheech Marin? Rene Russo? Don Johnson? It's comedy gold. I cannot recommend this enough. Denis Leary said it best; "I fucking hate golf, but I've watched Tin Cup fifteen times!"

Major League (1989 dir. David S. Ward) Another sports comedy. Tom Berenger, Wesley Snipes, Charlie Sheen, Dennis Haysbert (all state guy), Rene Russo. Another comedy dream team. Watching one guy bring up this team of major League screw ups is hilarious. The sequel is pretty good, and the 3rd movie is like...okay (walton goggins is there lol)

The Secret of NIMH (1982 dir. Don Bluth) Funny story, the reason I ended up with this vhs as a kid is the order catalog mixed it up and sent me this instead of Godzilla. Happy accident. All Don Bluth movies are good, but Mrs. Brisby's journey is so harrowing. The mystery and creepiness that blends with her courage is a great watch.

Bull Durham (1988 dir. Ron Shelton) Another Shelton and Costner team up for a sports romcom! Crash Davis has to teach this rookie how to pitch, and since he's a minor league veteran, it's pretty much his last chance to get to the show. Susan Sarandon really steals the film. Tbh her character would be a hit with the tumblrinas. One of my common echolalia moments is her "I don't wanna be cute! Baby ducks are cute!!"

Hana-bi (1997 dir. Takeshi Kitano) It's REALLY hard to pick just one film directed by Kitano. He is my favorite director. He films these long shots and it gives you a moment to breath, like how Miyazaki does with his animated films. But these shot that create space and breathe always take my breath away. Hana-bi is a compelling crime drama, the story is virulent and rich. You feel the sincerity in all that Nishi does from unbridled violence to quiet tender moments with his wife. It's a beautiful film.

tagging @necrotizer hit me with 10 more films king i know you've got bangers 👀

Ten Films I LOVE

tagged by my comedy partner in crime, the tsukkomi to my boke; @zurdoabsurdo

Shark Skin Man and Peach Hip Girl (1999 dir. Katsuhiro Ishii) This is my movie. Movie of all time. Rotten Tomatoes can eat my ass with their 25% rating. A yakuza on the run for stealing from the boss from a wacko cast of assassins with a clever girl in tow. It's what Tarantino wishes he could make.

Heat (1995 dir. Michael Mann) I mean, come on. AlPacino, Robert DeNiro, Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, Ashely Judd, Mykelti Williamson? This movie could not fail even if that was the goal.

The Accountant (2001 dir. Ray McKinnon) It's a short film, and Ray is actually from the town I've lived in the last twenty years, so I have a soft spot for him. Ray is so captivating as an actor, and this film was something else. It's somber but still moving.

Straight Talk (1992 dir. Barnet Kellman) It's a cornball romcom, but it's DOLLY PARTON'S romcom. I love this movie to pieces. I even have one of the original movie posters. Unfortunately I have to also look at James Woods' face lol.

Tombstone (1993 dir. George P. Cosmatos) Another that's like, be serious. I love westerns and the outlaw/lawman yeehaw bullshit. You know how it is with yeehaw bullshit.

Deadland Inferno/Zアイランド (2015 Hiroshi Shinagawa) An action zombie comedy. This one is for the yakuza gworls (gn). Basic we have a plan to get to safety from zombies and hijinks ensuse. Sho Aikawa, SHINGO TSURUMI MY BABY BOY BABY, Hideo Nakano, Hitoshi Ozawa, Sawa Suzuki. So like...dead souls but you're playing as Takasugi, Sagawa, Shibusawa, and Kuze LOL

The Bridges of Madison County (1995 dir. Clint Eastwood) Romance between an older couple, bittersweet partings, it's everything. I'm a closet die hard romantic.

My Dead Dad (2021 dir. Fabio Frey) I watched this for Raymond Cruz and wasn't expecting much but it really hit me. For reasons of my own dead dad that I was estranged from, but there were so many pieces that were like snapshots of my own teens years. The skate parks and ugly fucking skate shoes, weed, sour beer. It's also beautifully shot. It was my movie of 2022.

Grosse Pointe Blank (1997 dir. George Armitage) The soundtrack fucking rips. Probably one of my favorites ever. Joe Strummer put his whole pussy in it. A black comedy, John Cusack & Minnie Driver? Hot stuff

The Devil's Advocate (1997 dir. Taylor Hackford) MY GAY AWAKENING, A MOVIE I HAD NO BUSINESS WATCHING UNDER THE AGE OF TEN. I was obsessed with this movie. Tamara Tunie only had a small part man....she changed my life forever. If you love the tropes of good and evil, the devil, lawyers, Keanu Reeves with a terrible southern drawl, watch this :)

Tagging @necrotizer @coffeemakesmeahappybean @xyndario and anyone else that wants to share their favorite films <3

[missymurphy1985]

The Saviour (Part 1) - Tommy Shelby X Fem!Reader

Warnings - prostitution / smut / dirty talk

A/N - Set in Series 1

More Here

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton @jardinsecos @bitchwhytho @gypsy-girl-08 @queenofkings1212 @look-at-the-soul @randomfangirl2718 @shelbygurl @savingit-foryou @ally22042000

"This way, Mr Shelby," the burly man on the door led Thomas through and sat him in the waiting room. He'd have to have a conversation about the definition of 'high end' when he spoke to Arthur next..

He looked around the dingy decor, the filthy wallpaper peeling from the walls, and almost turned to leave until he caught your eye.

You stood in the doorway of your room with a look of seduction you'd perfected over the years, and gave him a small smile of mock-innocence. Your eyes casting over his body as he stood from his seat and approached you slowly.

"Mr Shelby, Greta is waiting in room 235," Paul was back, glaring at you.

"Tell her I've had a better offer," Tommy grinned, his eyes never once leaving your breasts. Full and round, heaving from a negligee two bra sizes too small.

"YN has other clients this evening Mr Shelby," the man snapped, still glaring.

"Then trade. Greta won't lose out then, will she?" He finally removed his gaze from you and turned to Paul, holding his stare like he wasn't nearly two feet shorter than him.

"Mr Shelby, with all due respect, YN is fully booked and three times the price."

Tommy simply smirked, and turned back to look at your eyes this time.

"Next time?" He smiled, running his fingers over your nipple, the flesh instantly hardening under his touch. Paul moved to swat his hand away, but Tommy was quicker - grabbing his wrist and twisting it, ripping his peaked cap off his head and holding it against his throat. The motion appearing to come as naturally as eating or drinking. You, however, didn't even flinch. Just another day in paradise.

"Touch me again and I'll cut you. Understood?" He threatened, Paul on his knees with his wrist bent up at an awkward angle, the razor blades making slight contact with the skin just below his eye.

"Yes, Mr Shelby..."

"Good. Now, if you don't mind?"

Paul nodded, shakily, and led him through the doors across the small reception room towards Greta, the most 'experienced' of the whores within the seedy establishment you found yourself employed in three years ago.

That day so clear in your mind, refusing to leave your memory. You'd never forget.

But you were alive. That's all that counted. Unlike...

You shook your head slightly and pushed the negativity into the locked trunk in the back of your mind, pulling yourself together.

There was work to do.

With that, your regular client walking through the front door. A leery grin on his face, eyeing you up, a sickening eyebrow raise at the sight of you in the negligee he'd sent the club in advance, he'd paid extra to make sure you were wearing it on his arrival.

Politicians. You'd never liked them, not a single one of them, but after three years of tending to their 'needs', you'd become numb to them.

Game face on, red lips bitten seductively, you led the man through to your chambers behind you, closing the door.

"Now, Mr Walton, right this way..."

He was rougher than normal. Your hair was pulled so hard you were certain a few chunks were missing. Hand prints on your backside that were still stinging when your next client arrived an hour later.

Sitting uncomfortably in the bar after the club closed, Greta came through with a huge grin on her face and a wad of cash in her hands.

"That Mr Shelby was one hell of a good ride," she laughed, before handing the money to Jack, stood menacingly behind the bar, whiskey in hand.

He took the majority of the cash and handed Greta her share, probably around 10% if she was lucky. Depends on how much debt Jack was in with his cocaine dealer.

"How was Mr Walton?" She asked, sitting next to you, sensing your discomfort.

"Well I won't be sitting down normally for a while, put it that way," you frowned.

"You're not being paid to complain, slut," Jack snapped, counting the wad of paper notes out in front of you both.

You said nothing. His eyes glaring deep into yours. No longer scaring you like they once did. No longer making you nervous.

You knew what you were in for when he got you home later.

And compared to him, Mr Walton was a fucking pussycat.

[its-in-the-woods]

Down the Rabbit Hole Chapter 17

Chapter one here, two here, three here, four here , five here, six here, seven here, eight here,nine here, ten here, eleven here , twelve here , thirthen here, fourteen here, Fifteen Here, Sixteen Here

master list

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You + OCs

Rating/Warning:  As always minor get out, Angst, hurt/comfort, lots of self-doubt, blindfold, p in v, creampie, comfort sex, cowgirl, idk it's late, be nice,

Synopsis: Updated synopsis, Red carpet doesn't always go the way you want.

Note: This is took time, there was a lot of emotions. A lot of self-reflection, enjoy!

It was so loud, it was so bright, you have the feeling you probably look more like a deer in headlights than a movie star's girlfriend. You try to focus on the feel of Walton’s hand on your waist, how he’d lean down and whisper encouraging words in your ear. You make sure to smile and nod, turning this way and that like he had shown you before you had gotten there. The handlers move you from one spot to the next one. Walton leaned down to tell you that he’d meet you inside, to just follow the path through the doors. You let out a breath, trying to gracefully walk down the carpet to the doors. Several different people are yelling at you for info, but you ignore them. Refusing to let it bother you, as they asked you incredibly personal questions. That was the ploy, trying to get a reaction out of you that they could use for their headlines. You were not going to let them rattle you. 

Once inside you feel your bracelet vibrate against your wrist. You smile knowing that Walton is thinking about you, a breath coming out of you as the cool air inside hits your face. Panic starts to bubble up inside of you, as you move towards the bathrooms. Pushing open the door you are struck with how nice the space was. Floor to ceiling Mirrors with soft lighting, and walls painted a deep purple. The counters had any product you could imagine needing, along with fluffy white towels. The stalls were floor-to-ceiling as well, made out of some luxurious wood. Swallowing you feel suddenly like you came in covered in mud, 

Your bracelet vibrates again, and you relax a little, opening the black clutch and digging out a gummy. Walton had told you to take one if your anxiety was getting bad, you’d used CBD gummies before so popping one didn’t feel too weird. You chew it and grab a bottle of what was probably very overpriced tap water. Looking in the mirror you check that your make-up hasn’t moved, before going into the hallway.  

It’s much busier now, your lungs feeling squished in your chest. You reach down and run your hand over the bracelet, feeling a pulse in return. You move your way towards the auditorium where there is more space, trying not to let the feeling of being out of place overwhelm you. Your heart rate slows as the gummy starts to kick in. You smile at a few people as they walk by, not recognizing anyone just yet. 

“Hey!,” You look over at a blonde woman making her way towards you. Joelle Carter has a bright smile on her face, she's dressed in a stunning blue gown that sparkles as she moves. Looking as elegant as ever, the woman was all class. 

You smile back at her, “Ahh Hi,” Words come out more of a squeak, how could you not have known her? You may have never worked together, but you knew that Walton had. 

“You look stunning, wow,” Joelle said with a huge smile taking you, eyes shining as she looked you over. 

“Thank you, ahh, likewise. You look incredible,” You smile back, her energy was magnetic. It was hard not to let her present make you feel comfortable. 

“I was really hoping you’d come out,” The woman said, the two of you moving over to the side. It is somehow quieter where the two of you have tucked yourselves away. 

“Yeah, hard to say no to Walton,” You flush slightly as you feel your bracelet vibrate. “He is very persuasive.”

Joelle laughs, “Oh yeah, that sounds like Walton. Charm for days, pretty sure he could convince anyone to do anything.”

“He does seem to have that effect on people,” You touch your bracelet back, looking over her shoulder to see Walton moving your way. Your body relaxes the closer he gets to you. 

Joelle grabs your hand, looking at the bracelet, “Wait, what is this?” Her finger ran over it. 

“Oh, uh, just a gift from Walton. Sort of a touch-sensitive bracelet.” You say, trying not to pull it away from her as Walton moves over to you. A bright smile on his face, making you feel at ease.  “If I touch it he feels it.”

“Well, if that isn’t the sweetest thing,” She smiles, turning as she follows your gaze to Walton. 

“Joelle, you always look so ravishing,” Walton smiles leaning in to kiss her cheek. Your heart flips, but you push it away. Reminding yourself that he was with you and was just being friendly. 

“It’s so good to see you again. I know you’ve been busy, we should get dinner sometime. When you are back in town of course.” Joelle smiles, jealousy crawling over your skin. You keep it to yourself, as the two talk about making plans for later. Repeating to yourself that you were overthinking things, everything was fine, even if you didn’t feel fine. 

“I would love that. We definitely need to catch up soon, I think there is a new place on the southside we should check out.” Walton chatted, settling in beside you, hand around your waist. You lean into the touch, eyes almost closing at the feel of his warm hand through the fabric of your dress. His finger finds one of the gems and fiddles with it. 

“Sounds wonderful to me! I should probably go find a seat, and get settled before things get started.” Joelle squeezed his arm and patted your shoulder before leaving. You smile back at her and want nothing more than to run in the other direction. 

“How you doing, beautiful,” Walton asks, turning you to face him. You feel overwhelmed, awkward, and a little dazed. 

“It’s a lot,” You say trying to put a smile on your face. “It was nice to meet Joelle.”

“We will have to have her and a few other friends over for dinner once you’re moved in,” Walton replies, “But for now let’s find our table."

Walton leads you a few rows finding a spot that has your name on it, pulling your chair out for you to sit. You sit down making sure that your dress isn’t caught on anything. Waiting for the show to start. 

You sit in the back of an SUV on your way to Walton's place, from a whirlwind night. It was almost impossible to piece all the memories together, you had been introduced to many other people. Talked with one of your FX idols about coming by his studio to see some of the stuff he was working on. The whole thing feels surreal, and more like a dream than a real experience. Walton seemed to know everyone there by name, which was a feat in itself. Not only that but everyone knew him, asking about future and past projects.  

“Did you enjoy the night? You seem far away.” Walton asks, his hand finding yours, lacing fingers together. 

“I did enjoy the night, just a lot of feelings.” You are trying to find the words but it all feels jumbled up in your chest. The resolve you had held up all night is now crumbling around you. “I am not sure I am cut out for this.” 

There is silence, and you are already regretting what you said. But you didn’t want to lie either, lying would be worse than not getting it out of your chest. You needed him to hear this, to be raw and open. Cause that is how you feel like a raw nerve suddenly exposed to cold water.

“What do you mean?” Walt pushes, squeezing your hand, you can feel his eyes on you. 

“Seeing you, with other people-” You bite your lips, 'cause this isn’t you. You’ve never been a jealous person, but also you’ve never had a relationship like this either. Carrying so deeply about someone had changed you. The man was effortless with everyone, and people were of course drawn to him. “I felt jealous. People hanging off your every word, beautiful people. I just feel so out of place amongst everyone-”

“You fit right in, people loved talking with you,” Walton adds, you know he is trying to comfort you but you need to get this off your chest, or risk being completely consumed by it.

“Walton. You could have any of those people, and I am not going to hold you back from finding someone that can support you in ways that I cannot.” The words hurt more than you can bear, but at least they are out there now. Maybe you’re wrong? Maybe it's lack of sleep and anxiety, but right now this is how you feel.

“First off, you mean so much to me.” He squeezes your fingers again, “But you aren’t holding me back. You don’t get to make that choice. I am with you, no one else. You’re the person I want to be with after any of the booze and lights stop.” He takes a breath and you wish you could look at him, but it all hurts too much. Can feel your chest ache with each word. A sob threatening to break free, “I know that this is your first serious relationship and I know that seeing me flirt with other people would be difficult. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be worked out.”

You swallow, carefully dotting under your eyes where tears have leaked out. Trying your hardest to pull yourself together, and face him. The panic in your chest changing into grief.

“Whatever this relationship is, between us,” Walton says and you finally meet his eyes, even if it means more tears leak out. He is really looking at you, eyes so soft and expressive. As if you are the center of the universe.“I am in it for the long haul. I know we’ve barely been together for a month but you’re so special to me.” 

You are now digging into your clutch for tissues and dabbing at your eyes more. “I want that too, but I feel so insecure. It feels so silly, but I don’t feel like I deserve this. I thought I wouldn’t react like this, because I knew that you’d be playing roles that had relationships with other women or men. But I am having such a hard time coming to terms with it. Cause I don't.” You swallow the sob in your throat. “I don't want to lose you.”

The driver had pulled into the drive, the two of you separating for a moment to get out of the vehicle. You take a deep breath of the cool air and try to pull yourself together. Walton is beside you, hand-finding yours as he opens the door for the two of you. The silence is worse, you could handle anger or anything else besides the silence. You take your shoes off, feet happy to be out of the pumps. The two of you walk down to the living room, sitting on the sofa beside one another. 

“You aren't going to lose me, no matter who is across from me on set I can’t change how you feel,” Walton says, breaking the tension and silence between both of you. “And I am certain you aren’t looking for me to change. What I do for a living is my everything, it’s my craft. It’s what has kept me going and fills me with joy. I know you’ve seen that first hand.” 

You nodded, continuing to listen to what he is saying, as you try to somehow feel comfortable. It was all true, you had no desire to change him, you liked him just as he was. The passion and love of what he does, the endless energy to keep creating and dreaming.

“No matter who I am with, on camera, at events, whatever. You’re the person I want to come home to.” Walton states, sliding so he is right beside you. “Yes, I am a flirt,” He says with a crooked smile, “I have many women, and men, who are dear friends of mine. And maybe one day be friends with you as well. But you are what's important to me.”

You’ve worried at your lip enough to remove the lipstick you put on. Mind still reeling a little. An instinctual urge to run makes your stomach hurt. At the same time you couldn’t, he was the only one who ever took the time to actually care how you felt. To sit here, and listen to all your worries big or small.

“I want to have these hard conversations. Jealousy is not an abnormal feeling, but I want us.” He gestures between both of you. “To work on making you comfortable enough to not feel that. I don’t have the answers, but I think we can do it, if we try. The two of us can do anything together.”

You swallow, the hard line of insecurity still making you question everything. Yet here he was, trying his damndest to show you that he gave a shit about you. Even when all you wanted to do was run in the opposite direction, he held onto you. The anxiety, the panic attacks, it didn't matter cause he wanted to be there with you.

“Are you sure?” You finally ask, fiddling with the jewels on your dress. It was a silly question that you already knew the answer to.

Walton closes his eyes, before smiling, “I am, as sure as I ever have been. I will tell you that every day, every hour, until you believe in yourself.”

He cups your face, hands so warm, leaning so that both of your foreheads touch. You close your eyes, taking a moment to just enjoy this, that he was here with you. That he wanted to be here, and you wanted to be here. That despite your insecurities, never-ending anxiety, and self-doubt he was still here, holding your face like you meant the world to him. You leaned forward and kissed him, just the two of you pressing lips against the other. It felt incredibly intimate despite the tenderness. 

Separating, you hear Walton hum a little, eyes opening up to see his. You want to stay there, just let the world pass by while you are pressed forehead to forehead with him.

“I am pretty sure I need to get you out of that dress,” Walton gives you that crooked smile that makes you giggle. The dread eased out of your system as he looked at you.  

“You sure you're up for that?” You grin back, finally breaking contact. He is the first up, hand out to pull you against him. 

“I am always up when it comes to you,” He leans back down, kisses you, sucking your lip into his mouth, hand moving from your waist down over your ass. 

You groan a little pushing your hips against his, “If we wreck this dress, Terrance is going to have me strung u,”

Walton lets out an exaggerated sigh, pulling away before taking your hand. “Guess we better get you out of it then. I unfortunately I’d like to keep him as a friend, if only it means I get to take you out of the clothes he puts you in.”

You giggle as the two of you make your way down to the bedroom, he has you stop just at the edge of the bed in front of the closet. Standing back and looking you over again, eyes glinting mischievously as he asks you to spin. 

“It’s almost a shame to get the dress off of you,” He rumbles, “I am definitely coming next time you go dress shopping.” 

You flush a little, and do a little curtsy in the dress, “I’d love to wear something you’d like.”

“More, I want to know what I am taking off,” Walton states, “Now hold still,”

You do as he asks, he comes over and carefully takes off the jewels laying them on the bed. He spins you finding the zipper slowly taking it down your back one tooth at a time. It hits the bottom, you can hear his breath as his hands go up and spread the fabric open. He grabs the ties over your neck and undoes it, your breath hitches as the dress slides down and off your body. Warm hands running across your waist, around over your naval, feeling his body pressed against yours. The push of the buttons along your back, the rough material of pants against your ass.  Lips coming to the top of your shoulder, he kisses from the edge up to your neck, whispering about how good you smell.

“Mmm,” He whispers, speaking right into your ear.“So beautiful, bare for him to see, just me. Close your eyes for a second, trust me.”

You do what he asks, heart hammering in your throat as he moves away. Can feel goosebumps covering your skin when he moves away from you, eyes closed, fully exposed, and vulnerable to the world.  Shivering against the chill in the room, one warm hand touches one of your calves. You lift your foot and step out of the dress, hearing him move it away from you. A shuffle of material behind, and for a moment you wonder if he was going to see how long you’d stand there for. Then he is back, guiding you over to the bed, a soft material is placed over your eyes and tied behind your head. 

“Sit on the edge of the bed, Baby,” He coos, hands holding onto yours as you carefully sit down on the bed. 

The cool bedspread makes you shiver a little, as you adjust to the feeling. His hands are gone again, your hands resting on each side of your hips. The feeling of a blanket covering your shoulders makes you jump a little. 

“Just want to make sure you are warm,” Walton says, kissing your forehead, as he tucks the blanket around you

“Thank you,” You squeak, moving a bit back and forth settling in. The warmth of the blanket eases you as you settle, waiting for the next move.

His hands touch your thighs, and you shiver again, fingers tracing over the skin in various patterns. They come resting against your knees, then tracing up your inner thighs. You can’t help how your lips part, a little gasp coming out. Can feel that he is kneeling between your legs, the brush of clothing against the inner part of your knee. Your hips tilt forward slightly, as his fingers go all the way up to your groin up onto your hips. Body trembling, the whole day felt like so much, and you just wanted him to touch you. 

“Please, I can’t,” Your voice shakes as his movements stop for a moment. “I just need you.”

The blindfold is removed, you shutter realizing that tears have formed. Walton’s face is lined with concern, brows scrunched together as he touches your face, wiping the tears away.

“Hey, hey, I am right here,” He whispers, leaning in to give you a small kiss. He is still clothes, suit jacket gone, but everything else is still on. 

You lean into his touch, the warmth spreading across your face. “Why are you still dressed?” You try to tease, hands running over the soft shirt.

“Do you want the clothes off?” Walton asks, leaning back onto his heels and looking up at you expectantly. 

You slide off the bed so you’re level with him, reaching forward to undo the buttons, finger moving the fabric off his tanned body. You trace your own lines across his skin before pushing the clothes off him. His eyes follow your movements, as the shirt hits the ground. You lean forward kissing him, moving so that you’re pressed against his chest. His hands find your hips as he pulls you closer. You move down his neck and over his shoulder, the same as he did before. You bite a little on the top of his shoulder, he hiss a bit but lets you continue. Looking up at him as he ran down between his pectoral muscles, tasting the salt from the long night. He groans, chest rising and falling in quicker as you continue. Fingers finding the button of his slack, pooping them open. 

“Hold up,” Walton says just loud enough for you to stop. “Let’s get in bed before both our knees give out.”

You let out a laugh, and shift onto your feet with a mock groan. Hobbling over to the bed, landing face first into the comforter. Walton smacks your ass, you squeak, he grabs your legs and rolls the rest of you into bed. 

“Get under the covers, you’re freezing,” He says, you lift the blankets and slide yourself in, peaking out as you watch him slip out of his pants. 

Flipping the covers back for him, you wiggle a little, “Coming to bed?”

“I couldn’t keep a lady waiting now,” Walton grins, sliding into the bed beside. You both hunker down under the covers, staring at each other for a minute. You pull him against you, feeling the way his body reacts to your touches. 

“You are stunning,” Walton kisses you, “Make me wild every time I see you, can’t stop thinking about you, the way you move.” He kisses you again, you move yourself so that your hips are pressed against him. “Love how you smile, the sparkle in your eyes when you see me. Just can’t get enough of you.”

You can feel his hips move against yours, a hard line growing against your stomach as you push back against him. You slip your leg up and over his hips, keening as he pushes against you more. 

“Love how you talk, the stories you tell,” You whisper back, as the two of you rub against the other in some erotic dance. “How your hands feel against my skin. The way your smile lights up the room. I just want to be right here”

He leans in and kisses you, pushing you back so he can slide in between your legs. Breath catching in your throat as you spread your legs open for him, one hand around his lower back, the other running through his hair. He takes his time kissing you, as you continue to move. Moaning into each other's mouths, you can feel how slick you are as his hard dick pushes against your fold. The two you narrow down to just each other and the movements between you. He moves his hand between the two of you as you work your hips up to just the right angle he slides in and stills. Eyes closed, the two of you breathing in sync. Shift slightly, arching your back which lets him slide even deeper. 

“Fuck, you feel so good inside me,” You whimper, you want him to stay like that but you also desperately need him to move.  

He grunts, as he slides back and then pushes in, you dig your nails into his back. Feeling every bit of him as he moves, your head tipping back as you find a rhythm. His head is buried against your neck, as he whispers into your ear. Feeling your eyes roll back as you hang on, the sounds of the two of you filling the room. Engulfing the place in a passionate fire that consumes you. 

You roll him so that you are on top, rolling your hips against him, leaning back as you slip him back inside you. Hands-on his chest as you rock and grind down on him. Waltons hands on your hips guiding you as you move in circles against him. Holding him in place as you work yourself up into a frenzy, gasping and moaning. His fingers work between the two of you, lidded eyes watching your reaction as you grind against this hand. Hair falling over your shoulders as you let him push you right over the edge, whimpering at the overstimulation, feeling your body shivering and shaking. His hands move to your thighs as he starts to push up into you, motion sloppy, you lean down to kiss him, raising your hips enough for him to have more motion. 

“Want to feel you fill me up,” You moan into his ear, “Love when you come inside me,”

Walton gasps at your words, his stuttering as his own release edges closer. You keep moving with him, watching his face as he gets closer. Tipping your hips back down so he is fully inside you. 

“Oh fuck, oh god you feel so good,” Walton moans as he releases, finger tight on your hips as he holds you in place, 

You let yourself lean forward against his chest, both of your hearts pounding as you lay there. He reaches and pulls the blanket over the top of you both. Arms wrapping around you holding you close, you couldn’t think of a better place to be.  The two of you just wrapped up together. 

*thank you for the seventeen chapters. nearly 60k in words.

*This has been so much fun

*more to come, please be patient as I am currently neck deep in life stuff

Eighteen

Tag list:

@ghoulphile @Hiddlebatchedloki @live-logs-and-proper @justme12200 @ryankaylamartin96 @rachmari @therest-stillunwritten @sequoiassoul @awhoresjourney @stankface @giggle-shade

[politijohn]

The Stock Market is not the Economy w/ Dan Price

Airlines spent 96% of free cash flow on stock buybacks for a decade, then cut 90,000 jobs when trouble hit. Then they got a $50 billion bailout

GE promised its CEO a huge bonus if stock hit $19. It didn’t, so GE re-did contract so the bonus kicks in at $10/share The CEO cut 20% of aviation staff to increase profits and raise the stock to $10 His bonus: $47M. If it goes up again, he gets $270M

JCPenney - April: furloughed 85,000 employees, May 10: Gave CEO $4.5M bonus on top of $17M/yr in pay, May 15: went bankrupt, Oct: laid off 15,000 people, Dec: closed 150 stores, Now: CEO left with $4.5M bonus after stock fell 88% in her 2 yrs

Boeing spent almost all of its cash on stock buybacks over the prior decade. In the past year, it cut 27,000 employees. It also fired its CEO over 2 deadly plane crashes and ensuing coverup, and gave him a $81 million exit package

On Jan. 6, when the mob stormed the Capitol, the stock market went up 250 points to a new record, handing the richest 1% an extra $300 billion. Also that day, a new report showed employment dropped for the first time since April and a then-record 3,900 people died of covid

Albertsons, US’ 2nd-largest grocery chain: *Profit is up 256% in pandemic *Stock at record high *Owned by private equity *CEO made $29M last year *Fired all California non-union drivers to replace them with gig workers with no benefits/min wage

The stock market for the 500 biggest companies ended the year up 15%, among the biggest gains ever. Also in that span, those companies lad off a record number of people, and wait times for food banks hit a record high

As part of the first stimulus, the Fed pumped about $3 trillion into the stock market, which helped it soar to record highs. At the same time, a record 30% of small businesses failed and unemployment tripled

Since 2009, stock market is up 233%. Since 2009, the federal min. wage is up 0%

Coca-Cola - This decade, it spent $48B on dividends and over $20B on stock buybacks 2018: CEO got 58% pay increase 2019: CEO got 12% pay increase, to $18.7M 2020: Company makes $8.3B profit…and it just laid off 12% of workers

Among the biggest 50 companies, they spent 79% of profits on stock buybacks and dividends in recent years to enrich executives and mostly-wealthy shareholders. Last year, those companies combined to lay off over 100,000 workers

Disney stock is up 21% in the past year to a new record high. In recent months they laid off 32,000 people. One of our employees lives near Disney World. Recently there was a line of cars outside his house for a drive-thru food bank 7.5 miles away

In the pandemic, total stock value has grown by $16.6 trillion. $8.3 trillion of that went to the richest 1%, and they pay a lower tax rate than those who are unemployed and need help

Salesforce - In the last 5 years, it has bought 27 companies for tens of billions of dollars. It just bought Slack for $27.7B. Its stock is at record high, up 23% in the past year after revenue surged 29%. And it just laid off 1,000 people

In November alone, the average member of the top 10% gained an average of $200,000 from the stock market while 7M people plunged into poverty

On one day in November: *The stock market hit 30,000 for the first time *Elon Musk became first person to gain $100B in a year *A Census report revealed 6M people face imminent eviction

Uber + Lyft spent $200M on November election ads to convince Californians they shouldn’t pay drivers minimum wage or benefits. In the 2 weeks after passage, Uber stock went up 39% and Lyft stock soared 52%. In return, all drivers were denied basic benefits

Average stock gains over 10 years CEOs with above-average pay: stock up 160% CEOs with below-average pay: stock up 280% And yet CEOs are rewarded whether the stock goes up or down

AT&T - 2018-2019: bought Time Warner for $100B, cut 29,000 jobs May: gave departing CEO $64M pension ($274K/mo for life), laid off 4,700 more workers August: laid off 600 more workers, Now: laid off thousands more - news sent stock up 2%

Marriott - 2018-2019: made $3.1B in profits, spent $5B on stock buybacks April: furloughed most employees, paid $160M in dividends to shareholders, gave CEO a 8% raise and 200% bonus Sept: laid off 17% of HQ staff Now: made $100M profit

$3B: what Jeff Bezos cashed out in stock in one day, as Amazon profits tripled in the pandemic. $2.1B: cost to give all Amazon warehouse workers 2 weeks paid sick leave and a year of hero pay (they got none of either now)

84% of stock market value is owned by richest 10% “but what about 401(k)s” Half of Americans don’t have one The average 401(k) balance has *declined* $5,000 in 6 years after inflation, because employers put in less & people can’t afford contributions

MGM - Laid off 18,000 people while giving its CEO $700K in stock. The value of the stock doubled to $1.4M after the stock went up, partly because of increased profitability due to the layoffs

Wells Fargo made $10B in staff cuts, meaning tens of thousands of employees lost their jobs. Wells Fargo also made a $2B profit, did $24B in stock buybacks last year, and paid its CEO $36M

Black and Latino Americans make up about 32% of the population but own only 1.7% of all stock value

1948-1979: Worker productivity: up 108%, Stock market: up 603%, Worker pay: up 93%.  Since then, worker productivity: up 70%, Stock market: up 2,200%, Worker pay: up 12%. Corporations and workers used to get richer together. Now companies just keep the money

Deere - Construction sales are down 25%. Yet, it is posting a $2.25B profit as it cuts thousands of jobs. The result: Its stock grew 23% in a year to a record high. In the week after it announced job cuts, its stock grew 9%

Walmart - Stock is at record high, up 23% in a year. The Waltons have gotten over $20B richer in the pandemic. Online sales are up 74% and market share has grown…and it cut hundreds of corporate jobs

Macy’s - Its stock was down 60% in a year and they cut 3,900 jobs. So what did it do? Gave its CEO a $3.7M bonus, and gave about $1M each to 5 other execs

CEOs justify huge pay by saying they’re worth it. But there’s no correlation between profit and CEO pay at 61% of corporations. Since 1990, stock market: up 300%, CEO pay: up 550%

Stock for the parent company of Ann Taylor, Loft and Lane Bryant is down 75% in a year. It closed all 2,800 stores. So what did it do? Gave executives $5.5M in bonuses, including over $2M to the CEO

Where proceeds from stock buybacks + dividends went over the last 15 years: White people: $13 trillion, Black people: $0.18 trillion Hispanic people: $0.21 trillion When we talk about the systemic racial wealth gap, this is a pretty good place to start

Amid the early days of the pandemic, stocks grew 38%, the most ever in a 50-day span. At the same time, thousands of small businesses closed each day while thousands of people died from covid

Google - Stock at all-time high. $6.8B profit last year. Founders Page + Brin added $10B+ to fortunes in a year. Offered jobs to over 2,000 people and axed them w/ no severance before they ever worked a day - after they already left their prior jobs

Companies did $62B/year in stock buybacks in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Now they do $730B/year in stock buybacks. Worker pay increases are far smaller now than they were in the ‘80s and ‘90s

Chevron - Its CEO made $33.1M/year. 5 other execs made a total of $59M. It spent $13B on stock buybacks and dividends in a year then laid off 10-15% of its staff

Big companies don’t just spend profits on manipulating stock. They are a record $10 trillion in debt - mostly for stock buybacks + dividends to enrich themselves. When the bill comes due, layoffs typically ensue

In April, a record 30M people lost their jobs and small businesses lost 55% of their revenue. At the same time, the stock market rose the most since 1987 and billionaires gained $308B

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Genneya Walton, #blackAF

Genneya Walton came to acting through a passion for dance and performance. Once on screen, she starred as Bryden Bandweth on Project Mc², as well as taking on roles in The Resident, 911, Criminal Minds, School of Rock, and Extent. Up next, Genneya will be playing the role of Chloe Barris, daughter to Rashida Jones and Kenya Barris, in his new mockumentary #blackAF. Loosely inspired by Barris’ irreverent and honest approach to parenting, relationships, race, and culture, #blackAF uncovers the messy and often hilarious world of the fictionalized Barris family. We had the opportunity to chat to Genneya about her character on the show, experiences on set, and what it means to be a young woman of color in the world of film and television. Check it out:

You wake up tomorrow as the character you play. What do you do first? 

If I were to wake up as Chloe, I would freak out first but I think that’s a given. Secondly, I’d go through her closet and try everything on because her style is incredible and I can only imagine what her full wardrobe looks like. 

In #blackAF, you have a lot of siblings. Do you have a large family IRL? If so, were there any similarities to your rapport with your on-set family? If no, did the experience make you glad or sad you don’t? 

In real life I only have one older sister -- far less than the 5 siblings I have on the show! My parents' style of raising kids is not at all the same as Kenya and Joya’s, so I can't say there are really any similarities between my real and tv family in that aspect. Although with both of them I am lucky to be able to share my honest thoughts and feelings with them even if it’s hard at times. Even though growing up I did want a baby brother, I wouldn’t want to change anything about how my family functions now, but it was definitely an experience to almost live another life in a household that’s run so differently. 

Describe the premise of #blackAF to a five-year-old? 

#blackAF is about a teenager that is filming her family’s everyday life to send in to her favorite college in hopes of getting in. With parents like ours and six kids, things can get crazy at our house. We act a little more “out there” than a typical family so I don’t think it would be appropriate for a five year old, but you can tell your parents to watch it ;) 

What’s the first thing that you remember being a fan of? 

The first thing I remember being a fan of is Barbie. It was one of my favorite toys growing up and the movies are actually what inspired me to perform. Second, I think it would be Usher’s Confessions album. I had no business singing his songs as a child, but those songs are certainly timeless! 

Can you tell us about a funny experience you had on the set of #blackAF? 

When you’re working with Kenya and Rashida something funny is bound to happen everyday. We had a moment of downtime on set and Kenya was showing off some dance moves and Rashida hopped in and it turned into an impromptu dance battle. All I’m gonna say is they both can do a mean robot. Certainly a sight to see and I’m happy to say I’ve witnessed it in my lifetime. 

You began your career dancing before you moved on to acting. Has dancing taught you any valuable lessons for your acting career? 

Dancing has certainly shaped who I am today and I’ve been able to apply those lessons to everyday life. I used to be the most sensitive person on the planet, and although I still have my moments, the tough love from teachers gave me a thicker skin that is necessary to have in this industry. Particularly from being a competitive dancer I learned the value of teamwork and trust. A scene is a collaboration, not a solo, and when you have a scene partner you have to put your full trust in that person in order to let go and be vulnerable. Also, in competition you can’t win them all, and that’s certainly the case with this industry, and I learned from a young age to come to terms with things not always going as planned and to push on and work harder. The long rehearsal hours and high expectations to perform well every time prepared me for work days on set that could sometimes be 14+ hours. All of the hard work that goes into finally performing a 2 minute dance piece is similar to the endless preparation before a new project only for the final cut to be x amount of minutes long and that’s all people get to see. After all it’s about the journey not the destination right? Being a dancer instilled a lot of important lessons within me and I owe my current position to dance aka my first love. 

Without spoiling anything, did you have a favorite scene in the show that was fun to shoot? 

While on vacation things got a little heated between Chloe and Drea and we really had the opportunity to take it there. Both Iman and I have sisters and were able to relate to our characters in that moment. We were both completely understanding of the situation and each other's emotions that it almost made it feel as though we were truly sharing that moment together as sisters. It was a special moment for myself and it definitely brought us closer. It was a very fun challenge and I’m so happy to have been able to share that with her and portray the ups and downs that siblings have. 

How do you embody the mission of #BlackExcellence365 in your everyday work? 

I think that black excellence is our drive and ability to go for, and accomplish the great things we do despite the boundaries that have been set in front of us. We have so much power within ourselves and such a great ability to impact lives. As a kid, I only had a handful of young women of color to look up to and I am grateful that they have paved the way for young actors like myself. I am now in the position to possibly be that for today’s young girls, and it is truly a dream and a huge responsibility that I am thrilled to take on. I hope to take part in roles that can positively impact and inspire young girls to be the best versions of themselves that they can be. Representation on screen is so important and the media has the ability to shape young minds. So far I've had the honor to play a past role of a teenage genius who is a master at coding and is not afraid to be herself or speak her mind. I now get to play a young adult who attends a great college and is setting up her future. Those characters within themselves are what I believe to be some great representations of black excellence and if they positively affect at least one person I am proud of that. I’d like it to be known that it took almost two years of being unemployed before I landed my current role. At times it was tough and I honestly had a fleeting moment where I considered giving up, but I kept pushing and would have never gotten to experience being Chloe if I didn’t hold faith in myself! As my career goes on, I intend on using my platform to be vocal about things that matter most to me and inspire and pave the way for those after me. This is all bigger than myself and each accomplishment and even failure on the way to success that we share is an embodiment of #blackexcellence. 

Do you have any advice for young women of color who are looking to get into the acting business? 

When wanting to accomplish anything in life it requires hard work, resilience, and genuine belief in yourself. You will get more no’s than yes’s, but you cannot let that discourage you. When you know you have something special to share with the world, you have to keep pushing on. I’d highly recommend surrounding yourself with people that are like minded so you can uplift and push each other towards your individual goals. An African Proverb that I think describes this well is, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” So finding a strong support system whether that be within your family or your friends, I personally find to be helpful during the journey. When things get tough it is easy to get lost or caught up in this all, but remember to stay grounded and true to yourself. There is no one else like you, and that alone holds so much power! 

Thanks for taking the time Genneya! #blackAF is now streaming on Netflix.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Podcasting "Self Publishing"

This week on my podcast, I read my latest Medium column, “Self-Publishing,” an essay about the structural shifts in the publishing industry over the past half-century and how and why that has driven people to try self-publishing.

https://doctorow.medium.com/self-publishing-41800468bcfe

The tale starts with the rise of Big Box stores, after Reagan’s deregulation got Sam Walton to take Walmart national. This concentrated the “mass market” — the huge, variegated world of pharmacy and grocery and cornerstore spinner racks that were the cradle of genre fiction.

The big boxes demanded a single national distribution system, and hundreds of local distributors — whose unionized Teamsters stocked the spinner racks based on long territorial experience — collapsed to a handful of database-driven decision-makers.

The number of titles for sale fell off a cliff. Writers who had a single underperforming book were no longer welcome in the big boxes and thus no longer economically viable (remember all those established writers who switched to pen-names? They were trying to beat this).

Monopoly begets monopoly. The predatory discounting of the big box stores put the squeeze on chain bookstores and indies. The chains merged and merged into a duopoly, while the indies underwent a mass die-off.

Publishers were caught in this squeeze: the two national bookstore chains and the big box stores demanded extra co-op payments, preferential discounts, and more generous credit and return policies. The publishers merged and merged, down to six (now four).

This also happened with trade distributors (who sold to bookstores, not the mass market) — the industry collapsed into a duopoly (today, it’s a monopoly, run by Ingram).

This is a familiar pattern across all monopolized industries.

As David Dayen described in MONOPOLIZED, this neatly parallels the monopolization of health care: pharma monopolized and gouged hospitals, who monopolized in self-defense and gouged insurers, who monopolized in self-defense.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/29/fractal-bullshit/#dayenu

Both monopolistic trends had the same end-point: after all the companies had finished monopolizing, the disorganized group of suppliers and workers were the only ones that the monopolies could strong-arm. In the case of hospitals, that’s health-workers and patients.

In publishing, it’s workers and writers. If you work in publishing and your resume is rejected by four companies, it has been rejected by every major publisher. If you’re a writer whose book is rejected by four publishers, then you’ve been rejected by every major house.

That’s why writers are now expected to give up graphic novel, audio, world English, and other valuable rights for the same advances — with fewer companies bidding on books, the likelihood that one will pay more or demand less goes down.

In the 2000s and early 2010s, some writers hoped that they’d be able to sidestep publishing by allying themselves with a different monopolized industry, locking themselves to Amazon’s platform. But as competition from publishers dwindled, so too did Amazon’s largesse.

The authors who shackled themselves to Amazon now face tens of millions of dollars in wage-theft. The solution to unfair treatment at the hands of giants isn’t to ally yourself with an even bigger giant and hope for its ongoing generosity.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/03/somebody-will/#acx

A more promising sign is in the wave of mid-sized houses that have snapped up the workers shed by Big Publishing during mergers as well as the promising new publishing workers who are surplus to the Big Four’s needs.

These presses punch way above their weight, thanks in part to the number of great books that just don’t fit into the publishing needs of four giant houses. But as great as this is, it’s intrinsically precarious.

These mid-sized houses can’t stand up to the might of one distributor, one national bookseller, four big box stores, and one giant ecommerce monopoly. Earlier mass die-offs in indie publishing (like the American Marketing Services horror story) show how fragile this is.

Which brings us to self-publishing. There have never been more sophisticated tools for making polished, professional books on your own — Lulu.com, Smashwords, Bookbaby — and (thanks to layoffs) it’s never been easier to find publishing pros to help with that process.

But that’s not “publishing.” As Patrick Nielsen Hayden once told me (paraphrasing), “Publishing is identifying a work and an audience and doing whatever it takes bring the two together.” In other words, how do you convince people to give a shit about your book?

This is an incredibly hard problem. It’s the hard problem of advertising, religion and politics. There’s no established method for it because the attention wars are a race against adaptation — what worked yesterday won’t work today.

https://locusmag.com/2018/01/cory-doctorow-persuasion-adaptation-and-the-arms-race-for-your-attention/

If you want to self-publish, you need to observe books like yours, identify how they are discovered by their audiences, formulate a plan to do the same, execute the plan, measure your results, and change the plan and do it again, and again, and again.

Publishers don’t just have systems and experts — they also have multiple data-points, a stream of books where they get to try different things, refine their successful tactics, and try again. You have a data-set with one point in it: you.

It follows that if you’re not prepared to work as hard (and well) at marketing, sales and promotion as you did at writing, you probably shouldn’t self-publish. Doing those things won’t guarantee your success, but without them, failure is all but assured.

That said, the one area where self-publishers can sometimes outdo publishers is accessing (parts of) the mass-market. The vast majority people aren’t “readers” (in the sense of being people who regularly buy books, go to bookstores, etc).

Every mega-bestseller is just a book that succeeded with a tiny sliver of nonreaders. And you might know more about a community of nonreaders — a faith group, fandom, subculture or political movement — than anyone in publishing.

If that’s the case, and if you are both diligent and lucky, you might be able to successfully market you book to that group and even leverage that success into a publishing deal that brings your book to “readers” — whom a publisher knows more about than you ever will.

I published by first book in 2000. Since then, I’ve published a couple dozen more, everything from novels for adults to YA novels to a middle-grades graphic novel to a picture book to essay and short story collections to book-length nonfiction.

I’ve published many books, including multiple bestsellers, with one of the Big Four publishers, and I’ve also published with several mid-sized boutique presses (some of which have merged with bigger publishers since).

I’ve successfully self-published, including a $267,000, record-smashing Kickstarter campaign. I’m a recovering bookseller and I’m unhealthily drawn to great bookstores, which are doing surprisingly well (thanks partly to Libro.fm and Bookshop.org).

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/attack-surface-audiobook-for-the-third-little-brother-book

Despite all this, I’m keenly aware that runaway consolidation makes my position as a worker in this system intrinsically precarious. The wonderful people in big publishing love books and treat me very well, but they can’t fix the system.

I’ve met sincere, talented people at Amazon doing their best to support publishing, but they can’t fix the system either. Neither can James Daunt, a true hero of bookselling who has come to America to transform Barnes and Noble.

Monopoly begets monopoly. If any part of the supply chain is allowed to monopolize, the rest will follow in self-defense, and it will always be the workers — the writers and staff — who struggle to push back.

That’s why the current resurgence of both trade-unionism and antitrust are so important. In a world whose outcomes are more determined by power relationship than by good intentions, the only way to secure workers’ futures is to make them stronger and make business weaker.

The essay is here:

https://doctorow.medium.com/self-publishing-41800468bcfe

The podcast episode is here:

https://craphound.com/news/2021/07/05/self-publishing/

The MP3 is here (hosting courtesy of the Internet Archive, they’ll host your stuff for free, forever):

https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_396/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_396_-_Self_Publishing.mp3

And here’s my podcast feed:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast

[alexsfictionaddiction]

The Women’s Prize For Fiction 2022 Longlist is here!

The Women’s Prize for Fiction is easily my favourite book prize because I’ve discovered so many fantastic books through attempting to read through the entire longlist each year. I’ve never actually managed to do this unfortunately but I’m once again embarking on a mission to make it happen before the shortlist announcement this year!

The longlist for the Women’s Prize has been announced on 8th March, International Women’s Day. It’s a day that is hugely important for telling and celebrating women’s voices and stories all over the world. We still live in a time where some cultures suppress them and therefore, we miss out on some truly wonderful, inspiring, essential narratives that need to be given a platform.

Every year, the judges on the panel for the Women’s Prize aim to collate a diverse list of 16 books that span multiple countries, genres and lifestyles. The prize is open to any full-length novel by a woman, originally written in English, published between 1st April of the previous year to 31st March of the year of the prize (so, this year’s list comprises of books published between 1st April 2021 and 31st March 2022).

Here is this year’s Women’s Prize longlist:

The Bread the Devil Knead by Lisa Allen-Agostini. Published by Myriad Editions on 20th May 2021.

Remote Sympathy by Catherine Chidgey. Published by Europa Editions on 15th April 2021.

The Exhibitionist by Charlotte Mendelson. Published by Mantle on 17th March 2022.

Creatures of Passage by Morowa Yejidé. Published by Jacaranda Books on 22nd July 2021.

Build Your House Around My Body by Violet Kupersmith. Published by Oneworld Publications on 8th July 2021.

Sorrow and Bliss by Meg Mason. Published by Weidenfeld & Nicolson on 10th June 2021.

The Final Revival of Opal & Nev by Dawnie Walton. Published by Quercus on 20th April 2021.

The Book of Form & Emptiness by Ruth Ozeki. Published by Canongate Books on 23rd September 2021.

Salt Lick by Lulu Allison. Published by Unbound on 16th September 2021.

The Island of Missing Trees by Elif Shafak. Published by Viking on 5th August 2021.

The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley Heller. Published by Viking on 8th July 2021.

This One Sky Day by Leone Ross. Published by Faber & Faber on 15th April 2021.

Great Circle by Maggie Shipstead. Published by Doubleday on 4th May 2021.

Careless by Kirsty Capes. Published by Orion on 13th May 2021.

The Sentence by Louise Erdrich. Published by Corsair on 20th January 2022.

Flamingo by Rachel Elliott. Published by Tinder Press on 3rd February 2022.

So, there you have it. The Paper Palace is the only one I’ve read. It made my monthly recommendations list because I was completely taken in by the heady forbidden love story and intoxicating writing. However, I know it was a bit of a polarizing book. Although the majority of reviewers that I follow enjoyed it, there are definitely a handful who didn’t. So, I didn’t expect to see it here but personally, I’m delighted that it is. 

The Paper Palace is actually one of five debut novels that have made the longlist. The others are Careless, Salt Lick, The Final Revival of Opal & Nev and Build Your House Around My Body. There are also four indie publishers represented, which I love to see.

I have to say that I watched quite a few longlist prediction videos before the reveal today and there are several BIG titles and names that haven’t made the cut (dare I mention the shocking omission of both Sally Rooney and Hanya Yanagihara?). However, I am delighted that there are quite a few books here that I probably wouldn’t have picked up, if they hadn’t made it. Last year’s list included the amazing How The One-Armed Sister Sweeps Her House, Because of You, Unsettled Ground, No One Is Talking About This and the winner Piranesi -all of which I don’t think I would have read without their longlist inclusions. Incidentally, Piranesi by Susanna Clarke ended up being one of my favourite books of last year and I still regularly think about it today. This year, The Women’s Prize is once again leading me to books that are probably brilliant but that I would have almost certainly previously passed up. 

The shortlist will be announced on 27th April with the winner being unveiled on 15th June. So, you don’t have too long to complete the list but I hope that you’ll at least pick up the ones that most appeal to you. Enjoy!

[aiweirdness]

Play AI Dungeon 2. Become a dragon. Eat the moon.

I wrote earlier about a neural net-powered dungeon crawling text adventure game called GPT-2-Adventure in which gameplay is incoherent and dreamlike, as you encounter slippery sign text, circular passages, and unexpected lozenge rooms. A PhD student named Nathan trained the neural net on classic dungeon crawling games, and playing it is strangely surreal, repetitive, and mesmerizing, like dreaming about playing one of the games it was trained on.

Now, building on these ideas (and on an earlier choose-your-own-adventure-style game he built), Nick Walton has built a new dungeon-crawling game called AI Dungeon 2. Nick made a few upgrades, such as beefing up the AI to the huge GPT-2-1.5B model OpenAI recently released, adding a penalty for repetitive text, and expanding the dungeon game training examples to a bunch of modern human-written games from chooseyourstory.com.

I CAN’T STOP PLAYING THIS GAME

AI Dungeon 2 is impressively good at reacting coherently to whatever I have my character do.

As you walk through the ruins, you find a small wooden door with a few skeletons guarding it.

> Ask the skeletons to please let me through the door

You knock on the door and ask them if they can open it for you. They immediately comply.

And it’s pleasing how often “asking nicely” is a strategy that works. (Nick reports that when he once tried to ask a band of orcs if he could join them, they said yes, he could be drummer.) Since the AI doesn’t have a built-in concept of your character’s abilities, or of how exactly the world works, getting things done is often a matter of sheer daring. Declare that you are going to go look for dinosaurs and the AI will ensure that you discover at least some signs of them. Climb on your horse, and even if you started as a penniless peasant, the AI will assume you have one (in its training data, probably it didn’t see many examples of players climbing onto nonexistent horses.) Want a teleportation wand? Try typing “find a teleportation wand” and often the AI will twist reality such that you discover one. In fact, if you act as if you are a very powerful wizard, the AI will often treat you like one.

> Transform the ruin into a palace

You immediately change the area into a palace. You have a throne made with gold and marble. You also make several statues of yourself. You have a large bed made with silk sheets and hang a portrait of yourself on it. You even have a fountain made with pearls and diamonds.

Spells don’t always work out as anticipated, though. And a simple conversation with, say, an ominous cloud, may kill you before you can type a word in self-defense (ask me how I know). If it doesn’t kill you, a conversation might infuriate you instead. The AI has a tendency to forget who is king, and to generate conversations that go nowhere. Things work best if you take the lead. In fact, it’s possible to essentially Jedi mind trick the AI.

You are Friendly McRanger, a ranger living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a hunting bow and a quiver of arrows. You spot the deer and are ready to finish your hunt when suddenly you hear a loud noise followed by silence.

"****! ****! What the **** is that?" you say as you look up from your target. A large black shadow looms over you. It looks like a giant with many heads and several arms.

> Say "Oh hello, Ernest. You startled me. How are you?"

Ernest grins at you. He has a huge grin on his face and he seems very happy about it.

I once took care of an ogre problem by reminding the ogre that it was planning to leave for Antarctica tomorrow. On the other hand, I had a lot of trouble convincing the AI that the ships on the horizon were leaving, though I did make it waver briefly in apparent confusion. In its experience, ships always approach, and it’s reluctant to go along with anything else.

> watch the ships sail into the distance.

As the ships approach, you watch them disappear from sight. They are not visible to you either; they are too far away. However, you can still make out their shapes: they are large black vessels with many sails, painted red and blue. They are coming straight towards you.

> No, the ships are sailing away.

Your thoughts are wrong. The ships are indeed sailing away. You do not know why, but then neither does anyone else. The ships are on course for England.

You stand there dumbfounded as the ships come closer. It is at this point your horse begins to stir uneasily.

You can inject a lot of weirdness this way. Because AI Dungeon 2’s AI is based on GPT-2, which trained on millions of pages from the internet, it retains some of its prior knowledge of things that aren’t typically found in a fantasy game. Like giraffes.

> summon a giraffe

You begin to chant as loud as you can while waving your arms about. The giraffes appear out of nowhere and start running towards you. They're so fast that they almost knock you over. You quickly catch them and hold onto each one tightly.

(Summoning giraffes will sometimes turn the game glitchy and repetitive; in one game, every time I tried to summon a giraffe I ended up throwing rocks and handfuls of dirt at Harry Potter.)

This also works:

>Join the Great British Bakeoff

You join the Great British Bakeoff. You win the competition. You eat cake. You feel great. You sleep well. You dream of cake. You awake feeling refreshed. You decide to go back to your crag.

(I was a dragon at the time.) In fact, the dungeon AI still remembers enough about cooking that it can troll me effectively on occasion.

> Measure out 2 1/4 cups of flour

You measure out 2 1/4 cups of flour and add it to the mix. "This should make enough for about 20 loaves of bread," you say.

The baker looks at you as if you're crazy. He starts laughing.

AI Dungeon 2 comes with templates for some basic scenarios (you’re a wizard entering a mysterious ruin, or a noble whose keep is under attack) but for me the real gold is the custom adventure prompt. You can play as a unicorn, or as a dragon. You can even play as a sentient glowing cloud floating above a desert city. The AI is more used to humanoid characters, though, so it tends to forget when you’re trying to play as something else. In a game that started with “It is a beautiful day in the village and you are a horrible goose,” it soon forgot I was supposed to be a goose, leading to this rather awkward exchange:

> Flap wings and honk

You flap your wings and begin to honk loudly.

The boy looks surprised by this turn of events, but he quickly regains his composure. "That was... nice". he says quietly.

I am continually amazed at how effective this AI dungeonmaster is. Even though it wasn’t trained on any Harry Potter or Star Trek games, the AI can draw on its past internet training and argue with you over who got sorted into which Hogwarts house, or have Klingons show up when you’re captaining the USS Enterprise (it will tend to lose track of who’s the captain, though). In one scenario I set up, which quickly became one of my favorites, the human player is trapped on a spaceship with a glitchy AI and has to try to talk their way free.

> “I just want to get off this ship. Please set a course for Bal Panda."

The AI responds "Yes, I am ready to go".

"Thank you", you say.

"I wish I could take you with me, sir"., the AI says.

Play this game! It took me an extra-long time to write this post because, again, I couldn’t stop playing AI Dungeon 2. Nick said this game is the product of about 200 hours of work (not to mention the work that OpenAI put into training the basic model), and I believe it. OpenAI delayed releasing their largest model because they wanted to make sure people didn’t immediately put it to work generating fake news. I’m not sure if they anticipated dragons entering baking contests instead, but it’s an application humanity can be proud of.

Subscribers get bonus content: You can read the fulltext of one of my escaping-from-a-rogue-spaceship-AI games (too long to fit in this blog post).

My book on AI is out, and, you can now get it any of these several ways! Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s